Today I’m going to address a question I’ve seen a lot lately. “I’m with some hottie, and they’re ready and I’m totally into them but… my dick isn’t. What the hell?!”

Let’s start with some basics. Not getting erect when you’re in a sexual situation is clinically called “erectile dysfunction”. Knowing the right buzz words might help if you want to google about it or talk to a doctor.

And don’t feel like a freak; this happens to virtually every guy on occasion. You’re not a mutant or a failure. *shrug* It happens. No worries, mate.

A big question is whether you always have troubles getting an erection. If you don’t occasionally wake up with morning wood and if you can’t get erect during masturbation, it’s time to talk to a doctor. There are some serious medical conditions that might be behind this issue, and you ought to get checked out.

But, let’s assume you’re otherwise in good health and we’re talking about a case of anxiety that occurred at the worst possible time. Ugh. I hate it when that happens! I feel for ya, dude, I really do. And the more that you think about it and worry about it, the more likely you are to have a repeat event. Which is just gonna make you even more anxious and… arrrgh! What’s a guy supposed to do?!

This is probably going to be tough advice to follow, but trust me.

You have to shift your mindset. When you’re getting some private time with someone, you have to get out of the “Woohoo, I’m gonna get laid!” mindset. Really. The bigger you build that up to be in your head, the more likely you are to have a let-down at the worst possible time. So forget about that. It’s not about getting laid. It really isn’t.

It’s about having naked fun time with another person! Maybe you’ll just sit on the couch and kiss like mad. Or maybe you’ll get to play with her breasts! Maybe you’ll grab and paw at her ass. Maybe she’ll touch your cock. Maybe you’ll touch her pussy! Hell, maybe you’ll get a chance to get down there and eat her out! Maybe she’s gonna slide between your knees and suck you for a bit! Maybe you’re gonna spend twenty minutes sliding and grinding your cock against her ass! Maybe you’ll glide your cock between her oiled tits!

Oh yeah, and if the moment is right, you’re in the mood, she’s in the mood, and you’re so stiff you can hammer a nail through a two-by-four with your cock, maybe you’ll put your penis in her vagina. But that’s not “the goal”. And it’s not a failure if you don’t. The goal is to have naked fun time with another person, a willing, enthusiastic participant. Once you’re there, there are dozens of things you can do, all of them are fabulous fun! I guarantee it, you will not get to every single possible activity on the list. You’re gonna have to skip some. Maybe this time, one of the many, many things that gets skipped is the fucking. And that’s okay. There’s a ton of other fun to have, and if you don’t fuck this time, maybe you will next time. Who cares?! You’re having fun, she’s having fun, you both get more orgasms than you can stand… that’s a win in my book!