The majority of my girlfriends have been pretty readily orgasmic. With a couple of them, it took me some time to figure out their preferences, what they like, how, when, and in what order. Such experimentation is hardly laborious (*snort* “labor of love”), and eventually I could push the right buttons manually, orally, or during penetration. Yay!

Not so much, with my most recent girlfriend. After several months of exploring, I found a way to bring her to orgasm with a carefully coordinated combination of oral and manual stimulation, but it has not been a sure thing. Orgasms during penetration, nope.

There are some mitigating circumstances that I suspect contribute to her challenges reaching orgasm. She has endured some considerable childhood sexual abuse and continues to sort that out in her head today. She has had a series of sexual partners who enjoyed her enthusiasm initially only to eventually tire of it and shame her for being too sexual, wanting too much. She has endured a sexual partner who eventually lost interest in her altogether, causing her to cast her own libido as a lost relic of her youth. Lastly, as we’re all getting older, there’s some chance that the changing hormones of aging are playing some role in it all.

Does it sound like I’m complaining? Oh my, no! This partner has fully met Dan Savage’s GGG standard: good, giving, and game. She has been incredibly enthusiastic, open to just about everything, considerate, thoughtful, shamelessly dirty, and kinky as all fuck. We have an amazing time together in the bedroom (and in the kitchen, on the deck, in the woods…) and I deeply relish our times together!

Still, helping her (and me!) cross that hurdle has been the source of some deep thinking and very playful experimentation.

I don’t suppose there’s any way to say this that doesn’t sound like bragging, so let’s just revel in it.

Last night I made her cum from fucking! Multiple times! Four or so, but it can be really hard to count when some of those waves crash and crest and crash again in rapid succession. And then two more orgasms from licking her pussy.

Afterwards, she had a smile like I’d never seen on her face before. (And she smiles a lot!) I asked how long it had been since she’d climaxed from fucking, and she said twenty-five years! Bloody hell, that’s a drought!

I don’t mean to make too much of it. If it doesn’t happen again for another year, it won’t put a dent in my enthusiasm. We have had amazing times together before this and we will after as well. There’s no shortage of scintillating experiences to be explored and repeated, and I’m looking forward to sharing a broad spectrum of them. I’m just happy to have reached this threshold. Hopefully she’s learned a little more about how to let go and relax into it, hopefully I’ve learned a little more about what works for her.

But yeah, I’m feeling a little chuffed. And chafed. 🙂