I’m quite fond of the njoy line of steel sex toys, but they are certainly not cheap; $120 for a butt plug.
https://shop.njoytoys.com/products/pure-plug-2

If you’re looking for a less expensive option, Williams Sonoma has you covered; $29.95, including an optional “BDSM mode”.
https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/reversible-meat-tenderizer/

“Tenderizer” indeed.

20. June 2017 · Write a comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags:

Perhaps you’ve had the experience of visiting the home of someone who has too many pets, and/or pets with insufficient hygiene. Everyone who visits the house instantly recognizes the problem, except the people who live there. They have been surrounded by the smell for too long and have lost the ability to recognize it.

In that spirit, I’m asking for some radical honesty. Please, tell me straight up; I can take it. Does my house smell like sex?

23. June 2016 · Write a comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags:

“No matter what you look like, somebody would love to plant his face in your fucking ass!”

02. December 2015 · 1 comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

I like the sort of party where the next morning there are more sex toys to clean than there are dirty dishes.

Morning cleanup

30. May 2015 · Write a comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

… that’s why!

07. May 2015 · Write a comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

I accidentally left a butt plug on the bathroom counter for the house cleaners to find today. *blush*

Buttplug

Hey, it was clean! Just sitting out to dry.

This afternoon we walked out the front door and noticed all of the young families on the street; adults making chit chat while their toddlers wobble and weave among them, squealing and shrieking. As we walked to the car, Girlfriend 1 said in a sing-song voice, “Going to the sex shop, we’re going to the sex shop.” *grin*

We here at SlipperyBits™ hope you have enjoyed your experience with our SlipperyBits Sex™ service. Would you be willing to take a five-minute customer service survey to help us improve our line of offerings?

Thank you!

Customer Service

How would you rate your satisfaction with SlipperyBits Sex™?

– Exceeded expectations, met expectations, below expectations, unsatisfactory?

 

Would you recommend SlipperyBits™ services to your friends and loved ones?

– Hell yes, possibly, only if I could watch, no, not even my worst enemy

 

Would you consider trying other services from SlipperyBits™, including SlipperyBits Cuddling™, SlipperyBits Snuggling™, SlipperyBits Groping™, SlipperyBits OralSex™, SlipperyBits GroupSex™, or SlipperyBits Boyfriend™?

 

When ordering SlipperyBits Sex™, did you consider our Repeat Customer Subscription package?

 

Do you have any suggestions for how we can improve our line of SlipperyBits services?

A friend (with extraordinary benefits) was having dinner with her best friend and several of their female friends. The conversation turned to a Huffington Post article on “Cliteracy

My friend then mentioned a video I had shared of Betty Dodson drawing the internal anatomy of the clitoris.

Finally, the topic turned to female ejaculation, “squirting”. Of all of the sex positive women at the table, only my friend had ever experienced it before. The rest of the women were listening to her describe it, eyes wide open, mouths gaping. “And I only had it happen for the first time with a new boyfriend last December.” Her best friend thinks for a second and then says with glee, “Oh, Mr Thumbs!”

Yes, dear friends, I was the aforementioned “new boyfriend”, and apparently her bestie remembers me as “Mr Thumbs”.

For reasons I will leave to your imagination.

11. July 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: link · Tags:

I feel obliged to point out this serious medical article from US News and World Report.

Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior

THURSDAY, Feb. 28, 2008 (HealthDay News) — Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.

And, umm, what are the consequences where the person being spanked isn’t a child? 🙂